Resilience Personified Part 2:
Resilience Personified: Kelly’s Journey Through Life from the Lens of Running, Recovery, and Self-Compassion
When we think of resilience, we often picture pushing through pain or overcoming big obstacles. But what if resilience also means pausing? Listening to your body? Choosing nourishment over numbers, and self-talk over self-criticism?
In this edition of Resilience Personified, I’m joined by my friend Kelly Maloney; a marathon runner, pelvic floor PT, and lover of strong coffee and quiet moments. From getting cut from her middle school soccer team to qualifying for world-class marathons, from battling disordered eating to becoming her own biggest cheerleader, Kelly’s journey is full of courage, grace, and a whole lot of growth.
We dive into everything from fueling properly and navigating “micro-quitting” to finding the balance between pushing hard and honoring rest. Whether you're training for a race or just trying to get through a tough season, this conversation will remind you: resilience isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about tuning in, showing up, and having your own back.
1. From Setbacks to Starting Lines
Kelly’s journey began with disappointment—being cut from her middle school soccer team. But rather than giving up, she pivoted. This moment became the spark that led her to discover running, eventually building the mindset and discipline that would carry her through marathon after marathon.
Q: Can you tell us about your journey and your relationship with running? When did you start running and how did it all begin? And what is your relationship with running now?
A: Yeah. So running is a funny, beautiful sport that kind of changes with you through life. My relationship with running began back in middle school. I was in seventh grade and after being cut from soccer, which was like the sport at Vestal high school in Upstate New York—myself and one of my close friends had gotten cut and I was pretty bummed about it. My friend asked if I wanted to go out for cross country. Initially I was like “no, I don't want to. That is not my pace. I’m meant to play soccer.” After realizing there was more than just a social aspect to it, I started being more competitive with it. I did it for a year in college and I ended up being injured and at the time was studying physical therapy, but kind of lost my way with running in college. And it wasn't until after I graduated [undergrad] I got into half marathoning and then after PT school marathoning. And now my main race is the marathon at this point in my life.
Q: Is there something that inspired you to want to run half marathons or marathons after college, after taking a break from running for that long?
A: I think initially I got into half marathoning, my senior year of college as kind of a “hey, I can do this for me without the structure of a team or without the need for a coach” and just I wanted to it as well as I could. An inspiration definitely was my younger sister [who was running half marathons as well]. When I was going to school in Rochester, I signed up for a race there and I always loved the opportunity and I still love the opportunity to see the place where I'm living through running. So it was both a “I can do this on my own” and then also [a way] to connect to the place I was living and the community I was in.
Q: And then from half marathoning into marathoning, how did you decide to make that switch and what was that first race like for you?
A: After I graduated PT school and started working, I asked myself “what's something I could really work towards personally?” And I thought now's the time [to sign up for a marathon]. I signed up for the Philly marathon in 2019. And looking back you commend your younger self for turning up big, but I knew nothing. I was way in over my head, but I was so hell bent on I'm gonna do a marathon, I'm gonna qualify for Boston. And looking back I did not realize the balance of all the things that come with training–proper fueling was a big one–but I was so determined with my goal of running this marathon that I just kept pushing. And it was a great experience. I didn't hit my goal [qualifying for Boston], but I did end up enjoying the race and being present during it. So pretty funny looking back on that I didn't know anything about fueling or pacing or coaching. I was just like 330 or bust. That's going to be my time.
2. Fueling the Body and the Mind
A major turning point in Kelly’s running (and personal life) came when she shifted from under-fueling and pushing too hard to truly nourishing her body. Her realization? You can't run—or live—on empty. Resilience isn’t just about pushing through; it’s also about learning to nourish yourself so you can sustain the journey.
Q: Did you have one takeaway from your first race or like one thing that you didn't know you needed?
A: What comes to mind first is the physical component; it's what we call fueling. It's like a fancy word for eating and nutrition. I went out running 26 miles, not knowing you had to be eating throughout. And I had one packet of gel blocks, which, looking back, I should have had 10 of those packets, and I only had one across the course of 26 miles. So at mile marker 20, I crashed. Looking at it now, it's from a nurturing standpoint of what can I do to best support myself, my goals, nutrition, and fueling and nurturing my body is a huge one. I didn't realize all that went into it. That’s been a big shift for me, especially because in high school and in college I dealt with periods of anorexia and not fueling myself properly. So learning how to nurture yourself during something that requires such demand and energy from you has been a game changer.
Q: Have you faced any injuries or setbacks or is there anything that you want to share that you had to overcome either with your training or marathon running in general?
A: Yeah, definitely. I had two races that really imploded in my face. I collapsed twice and had to be pulled from the race at mile 25.9, and for those of you who don't know marathons, it's 26.2 [miles total]. I was rounding the corners of the finish line and I collapsed, tried to get up again [and wasn’t able to finish]. It goes back to my previous headspace. I said: Push, keep going, push keep going. I was ignoring my body signs that I was passing out and losing consciousness. And then six months later, I didn't change the process, but had the same ambition and it happened again, and that time I ended up in the hospital, and that was really scary because that was the moment that I thought something was seriously wrong with me. Testing came back that my heart was fine, brain was fine, all the important organs were good. I was operating on all cylinders, and that was met with months of following up with specialists and teams to make sure that I was physically okay. I was in peak physical shape, but I was mentally not okay. And I tuned out the connection of my mind [in those moments at the end of the races] and recognizing, you're not okay right now–and I completely dissociated. Then I started working with a nutritionist from a more holistic aspect, as well as a coach and a therapist. It took some time but about eight months later, I really gingerly got back into running. It was almost a year of really, really not a great head space. Still dealing with a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression around it, thinking something was physically wrong with me and then having to face the reality and vulnerability of needing to get my head right and be able to connect these two parts of me to be in my body and just get back to an okay place to run without being scared of myself.
3. Rewriting the Self-Talk
From disordered eating to becoming her own cheerleader, Kelly shared how she began replacing negative thoughts with affirmations, especially when the inner critic can get loud. Resilience lives in the words we speak to ourselves—especially when things get hard.
Q:How do you stay focused during the hardest parts of marathon training or the races in general? How do you stay motivated during the toughest parts of training?
A: I've learned the importance now to constantly check in: where am I at right now in this workout? In this work week? And once I check in, I have this conversation with myself of: what can I do at this moment? Can I push a bit more? Do I need to stretch? Do I need to rest? Do I need to shift my work out to a different time of the day, or a different day? I realized these things after working with a coach. I stick to my structured plan, but I've learned to kind of meditate in the moments and listen to what my body needs while keeping my end goal in sight. But then I tune into my goal, reassess and that determines what's in my capacity at that moment. After that after I had that conversation with myself, I've almost learned how to cheer myself on. How would I cheer my teammates that I raced with in Santa Cruz? And learning how to be my own support system during those workouts I’d say to myself “really good job” or “you got this.” And learning to have those silly phrases and saying it out loud. It sounds funny, but [how I get through the hard moments is] having those conversations checking in, and then rewarding myself all while keeping my goal in sight.
4. Micro-Quitting and 70% Efforts
Kelly talked about recognizing moments of “micro-quitting”—when we slowly disconnect from ourselves or our goals without realizing it. Her insight? The real win comes when we notice, pause, and realign to focus on our big goals.
Q: Was there ever a time where you wanted to give up? Either if it was during a race or during training, and how did you push through that hard time?
A: Yeah, definitely. In regards to moments of wanting to quit or give up for sure. I'll sign up for a race because of the positive peer pressure of my girlfriends. So there are moments I want to quit in the beginning of my plan during workouts, and that goes back to the microquitting. I've learned to do less microquitting to reduce macroquitting. Essentially, microquitting are those small moments you choose to give up or to quit, whether it's stopping mid workout for an extended shoe tie or an extended water break or to take a picture. Yes, take in those moments or adjust as you need, but don’t stop all together. Because every time I choose to opt out of micro quitting: the extended rest breaks, extra workout, it carries over to reduce macro quitting. I always ask myself, how do I want to feel when this is done? Will those small moments of pain be worth the reward, and usually they are. So it's reducing micro quitting during the plan, and it makes me quit less on the bigger scale. It's all those moments of you showing up as your best version of yourself. And there's a 70% rule. If you can't give your 100% in that moment, what is your 70%? What's your best effort? What can you do right right now? So then you're learning to not quit but what's the best version of you? You could show up you as in that moment.
5. Final Words of Wisdom and Advice
Kelly states that running, much like life, is often the case of putting one foot in front of the other. As long as you’re doing that, you’re not giving up.
Q: Do you have any advice that you would give someone who's currently facing maybe an injury or a setback or going through a hard time in life?
A: For sure, it’s similar to what I would tell my younger self. Well, from me to me: just do you girl. And to whomever, to do you, and to hold on–embrace that this is going to be a wild ride and it's okay because you're going to go so far, to places you will not believe with incredible people. You’re going to learn. Time and time again–and you're going to learn the hard way. And it's going to suck. It makes me feel emotional to go back to the times that it does. It sucks and I wish I could go back and hold my own hand in those moments. But if you're in it right now and you're facing the hard moments, embrace it and don't fight it because you can't control it. There's such an ebb and flow through this life that I've learned through running that when you're in those moments find those things that keep you holding on and don't force, don't try to control it. You are going to get out. And if you feel like you have nothing to hold on to, ask for help. Just lean into a friend and open up because people will connect you to find you the resources that you need. And just don't ever give up. In those moments it's gonna feel like you're giving up, but one thing that running has taught me is one foot in front of the other. It's quite literally that.
Kelly so gracefully exemplifies what it means to turn setbacks into triumphs — but not without a great deal of sacrifice and hard work on her part. She’s learned how to show up for herself in the tough moments, how to be her own cheerleader, and how to offer herself grace when her body needs it most. With humility, she’ll tell you she’s still a work in progress — but she’s always moving toward a stronger, faster, and more aligned version of herself. We could all take a page out of Kelly’s book, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
